NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DO NOT SEE the new Mummy movie. It is awful. I mean, I suspect that they hired a pack of film-school students to plot it on a dare, and then threw a dart at the opening of "Another Action Movie" and managed to hit a director with such limited talent that he could not even spell "CG," let alone skillfully orchestrate effects. They hired him, and told him to "go forth and do special effects. By the way, could you spiff up this dialogue the students wrote? It's kind of clunky."

Oh, yeah, and the plot? Don't even get me started. And the replacement of the lead character with some actress whose idea of a British accent is to spit all her 't's and purse her lips occasionally? Not good. After I left the theatre I sent a text message to Brendan Fraser saying simply: what were you thinking?

Tomorrow is Damian's birthday, so we went out for dinner tonight and had his favourite: hamburgers and ice cream. Yeah, I got myself a real gourmet. Who only eats imported ice cream. From Sweden. With chopsticks.

Then, after we had stuffed ourselves stupid - what's a birthday without contributing to the obesity epidemic? - we went to see Iron Man. Correction: we had planned to see Iron Man, but theatres are insane and no longer run movies for more than two weeks at a time, so Iron Man wasn't playing anywhere anymore, and how do they expect movies to develop an audience, exactly? Hmmph. Instead, we went to see Wanted, which I kind of enjoyed, but which Damian did not, at least I don't think he did because when I asked him what he thought the words he used included "piece of" and "derivative." Also, "fucking." Me, however? Well, I just couldn't stop staring at Angelina's tattoos. Because wow, that lady sure has... a lot of them. And very bony feet.

THEN we saw Wall-e. And I really regretted paying for Wanted and sneaking into Wall-e, because if we'd paid for Wall-e and sneaked into Wanted then at least we would have helped the box office of a good movie instead of the box office of a movie that will probably gross higher just because it has lots of posters with Angelina Jolie's lips on them right next to a shiny gun. Not that the posters are wrong - the movie delivers what it promises! - but you know what I mean. There was no comparison - Wall-e was fabulous. It was as great as everybody says it was, and you should go and see it. RIGHT NOW. Because it was sweet, funny, wonderfully animated, with a great story and incredible characterizations. I would like people to go and see it because I would like to encourage Hollywood to continue this trend of putting out good movies, instead of bad ones. Because the next time I hear that Adam Sandler has been allowed on celluloid I'm going to punch my television.

Also, Happy Birthday Damian! You're old!